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spoken, I thought to ask him about his likeness to a Reverend Mother. I said:
"Lord, I know how it is that a Reverend Mother acquires the memories of her
ancestors and of others. How was it with you?"
"It was a design of our genetic history and the working of the spice. My twin
sister, Ghanima, and I were awakened in the womb, aroused before birth into the
presence of our ancestral memories."
"Lord . . . my Sisterhood calls that Abomination."
"And rightly so," the Lord Leto said. "The ancestral numbers can be
overwhelming. And who knows before the event which force will command such a
horde-good or evil?"
"Lord, how did you overcome such a force?'
I did not overcome it," the Lord Leto said. "But the persistence of the
pharaonic model saved both Ghani and me. Do you know that model, Sister
Chenoeh?"
"We of the Sisterhood are well coached in history, Lord."
"Yes, but you do not think of this as I do," the Lord Leto said. "I speak of a
disease of government which was caught by the Greeks who spread it to the Romans
who distributed it so far and wide that it never has completely died out."
"Does my Lord speak riddles?"
"No riddles. I hate this thing, but it saved us. Ghani and I formed powerful
internal alliances with ancestors who followed the pharaonic model. They helped
us form a mingled identity within that long dormant mob."
"I find this disturbing, Lord."
"And well you should."
"Why are you telling me this now, Lord? You have never answered one of us before
in this manner, not that I know of."
"Because you listen well, Sister Chenoeh; because you will obey me and because I
will never see you again."
The Lord Leto spoke those strange words to me and then he asked:
"Why have you not inquired about what your Sisterhood calls my insane tyranny?"
Emboldened by his manner, I ventured to say: "Lord, we know about some of your
bloody executions. They trouble us."
The Lord Leto then did a strange thing. He closed his eyes as we went, and he
said:
"Because I know you have been trained to record accurately whatever words you
hear, I will speak to you now, Sister Chenoeh, as though you were a page in one
of my journals. Preserve these words well, for I do not want them lost."
I assure my Sisterhood now that what follows, exactly as he spoke them, are the
words uttered then by the Lord Leto:
"To my certain knowledge, when I am no longer consciously present here among
you, when I am here only as a fearsome creature of the desert, many people will
look back upon me as a tyrant.
"Fair enough. I have been tyrannical.
"A tyrant-not fully human, not insane, merely a tyrant. But even ordinary
tyrants have motives and feelings beyond those usually assigned them by facile
historians, and they will
think of me as a great tyrant. Thus. my feelings and motives are a legacy I
would preserve lest history distort them too much. History has a way of
magnifying some characteristics while it discards others.
"People will try to understand me and to frame me in their words. They will seek
truth. But the truth always carries the ambiguity of the words used to express
it.
"You will not understand me. The harder you try the more remote I will become
until finally I vanish into eternal myth-a Living God at last!
"That's it, you see. I am not a leader nor even a guide. A god. Remember that. I
am quite different from leaders and guides. Gods need take no responsibility for
anything except genesis. Gods accept everything and thus accept nothing. Gods
must be identifiable yet remain anonymous. Gods do not need a spirit world. My
spirits dwell within me. answerable to my slightest summons. I share with you,
because it pleases me to do so, what I have learned about them and through them.
They are my truth.
"Beware of the truth, gentle Sister. Although much sought after, truth can be
dangerous to the seeker. Myths and reassuring lies are much easier to find and
believe. If you find a truth, even a temporary one, it can demand that you make
painful changes. Conceal your truths within words. Natural ambiguity will
protect you then. Words are much easier to absorb than are the sharp Delphic
stabs of wordless portent. With words, you can cry out in the chorus:
"Why didn't someone warn me?"
"But I did warn you. I warned you by example, not with words."
"There are inevitably more than enough words. You record them in your marvelous
memory even now. And someday, my journals will be discovered-more words. I warn
you that you read my words at your peril. The wordless movement of terrible
events lies just below their surface. Be deaf! You do not need to hear or,
hearing, you do not need to remember. How soothing it is to forget. And how
dangerous!
"Words such as mine have long been recognized for their mysterious power. There
is a secret knowledge here which can be used to rule the forgetful. My truths
are the substance of myths and lies which tyrants have always counted on to
maneuver the masses for selfish design.
"You see? I share it all with you, even the greatest mystery
of all time, the mystery by which I compose my life. I reveal it to you in
words:
"The only past which endures lies wordlessly within you."
The God Emperor fell silent then. I dared to ask: "Are those all of the words
that my Lord wishes me to preserve`.'"
"Those are the words," the God Emperor said, and I thought he sounded tired,
discouraged. He had the sound of someone uttering a last testament. I recalled
that he had said he would never see me again, and I was fearful but I praise my
teachers because the fear did not emerge in my voice.
"Lord Leto," I said, "these journals of which you speak, for whom are they
written?"
"For posterity after the span of millennia. I personalize those distant readers,
Sister Chenoeh. I think of them as distant cousins filled with family [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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