[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
square sail and the River and Khay's laughing face. And now she had forgotten Khay's face
and in the place of it, against the sail and the River, it would be Kameni who sat and laughed
into her eyes.
That was death. That was what death did to you. "I felt this," you said. "I felt that -" but you
only said it, you did not now feel anything. The dead were dead. There was no such thing as
remembrance...
Yes, but there was Teti. There were life and the renewing of life, as the waters of the yearly
inundation swept away the old and prepared the soil for the new crops.
What had Kait said: "The women of the household must stand together"! What was she, after
all, but a woman of a household - whether Renisenb or another, what matter?...
Then she heard Kameni's voice - urgent, a little troubled.
"What are you thinking, Renisenb? You go so far away sometimes... Will you come with me
on the River?"
"Yes, Kameni, I will come with you."
"We will take Teti too."
II
It was like a dream, Renisenb thought - the boat and the sail and Kameni and herself and Teti.
They had escaped from death and the fear of death. This was the beginning of new life.
Kameni spoke and she answered as though in a trance...
"This is my life," she thought, "there is no escape..."
Then, perplexed: "But why do I say to myself 'escape'? What place is there to which I could
fly?"
And again there rose before her eyes the little rock chamber beside the Tomb and herself
sitting there with one knee drawn up and her chin resting on her hand...
She thought: "But that was something outside life. This is life - and there is no escape now
until death..."
Kameni moored the boat and she stepped ashore. He lifted Teti out. The child clung to him
and her hand at his neck broke the string of an amulet he wore. It fell at Renisenb's feet. She
picked it up. It was an Ankh sign of electrum and gold.
She gave a little regretful cry.
"It is bent. I am sorry. Be careful -" as Kameni took it from her - "it may break."
But his strong fingers, bending it still further, snapped it deliberately in two.
"Oh, what have you done?"
"Take half, Renisenb, and I will take the other. It shall be a sign between us - that we are
halves of the same whole."
He held it out to her, and just as she stretched out her hand to take it, something clicked in her
brain and she drew in her breath sharply.
"What is it, Renisenb?"
"Nofret."
"What do you mean - Nofret?"
Renisenb spoke with swift certainty.
"The broken amulet in Nofret's jewel box. It was you who gave it to her... You and Nofret... I
see everything now. Why she was so unhappy. And I know who put the jewel box in my
room. I know everything... Do not lie to me, Kameni. I tell you, I know."
Kameni made no protest. He stood looking at her steadily and his gaze did not falter. When he
spoke, his voice was grave and for once there was no smile on his face.
"I shall not lie to you, Renisenb."
He waited a moment, frowning a little as though trying to arrange his thoughts.
"In a way, Renisenb, I am glad that you do know - though it is not quite as you think."
"You gave the broken amulet to her - as you would have given it to me - as a sign that you
were halves of the same whole. Those were your words."
"You are angry, Renisenb. I am glad because that shows that you love me. But all the same, I
must make you understand. I did not give the amulet to Nofret. She gave it to me..."
He paused.
"Perhaps you do not believe me, but it is true. I swear that it is true."
Renisenb said slowly:
"I will not say that I do not believe you... That may very well be true."
Nofret's dark, unhappy face rose up before her eyes.
Kameni was going on, eagerly, boyishly...
"Try to understand, Renisenb. Nofret was very beautiful. I was flattered and pleased. Who
would not be? But I never really loved her -"
Renisenb felt an odd pang of pity. No, Kameni had not loved Nofret - but Nofret had loved
Kameni - had loved him despairingly and bitterly. It was at just this spot on the Nile bank that
she had spoken to Nofret that morning, offering her friendship and affection. She remembered
only too well the dark tide of hate and misery that had emanated from the girl then. The cause
of it was clear enough now. Poor Nofret - the concubine of a fussy, elderly man - eating her
heart out for love of a gay, careless, handsome young man who had cared little or nothing for
her.
Kameni was going on eagerly:
"Do you not understand, Renisenb, that as soon as I came here, I saw you and loved you?
That from that moment I thought of no one else? Nofret saw it plainly enough."
Yes, Renisenb thought, Nofret had seen it. Nofret had hated her from that moment - and
Renisenb did not feel inclined to blame her.
"I did not even want to write the letter to your father. I did not want to have anything to do
with Nofret's schemes any more. But it was difficult - you must try to realize that it was
difficult."
"Yes, yes." Renisenb spoke impatiently. "All that does not matter. It is only Nofret that
matters. She was very unhappy. She loved you, I think, very much."
"Well, I did not love her." Kameni spoke impatiently.
"You are cruel," said Renisenb.
"No, I am a man, that is all. If a woman chooses to make herself miserable about me, it
annoys me, that is the simple truth. I did not want Nofret. I wanted you. Oh, Renisenb, you
cannot be angry with me for that!"
In spite of herself she smiled.
"Do not let Nofret who is dead make trouble between us who are living. I love you, Renisenb,
and you love me and that is all that matters."
Yes, Renisenb thought, that is all that matters...
She looked at Kameni, who stood with his head a little on one side, a pleading expression on
his gay, confident face. He looked very young.
Renisenb thought: "He is right. Nofret is dead and we are alive. I understand her hatred of me
now - and I am sorry that she suffered - but it was not my fault. And it was not Kameni's fault
that he loved me and not her. These things happen."
Teti, who had been playing on the riverbank, came up and pulled at her mother's hand.
"Shall we go home now? Mother - shall we go home?"
Renisenb gave a deep sigh. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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square sail and the River and Khay's laughing face. And now she had forgotten Khay's face
and in the place of it, against the sail and the River, it would be Kameni who sat and laughed
into her eyes.
That was death. That was what death did to you. "I felt this," you said. "I felt that -" but you
only said it, you did not now feel anything. The dead were dead. There was no such thing as
remembrance...
Yes, but there was Teti. There were life and the renewing of life, as the waters of the yearly
inundation swept away the old and prepared the soil for the new crops.
What had Kait said: "The women of the household must stand together"! What was she, after
all, but a woman of a household - whether Renisenb or another, what matter?...
Then she heard Kameni's voice - urgent, a little troubled.
"What are you thinking, Renisenb? You go so far away sometimes... Will you come with me
on the River?"
"Yes, Kameni, I will come with you."
"We will take Teti too."
II
It was like a dream, Renisenb thought - the boat and the sail and Kameni and herself and Teti.
They had escaped from death and the fear of death. This was the beginning of new life.
Kameni spoke and she answered as though in a trance...
"This is my life," she thought, "there is no escape..."
Then, perplexed: "But why do I say to myself 'escape'? What place is there to which I could
fly?"
And again there rose before her eyes the little rock chamber beside the Tomb and herself
sitting there with one knee drawn up and her chin resting on her hand...
She thought: "But that was something outside life. This is life - and there is no escape now
until death..."
Kameni moored the boat and she stepped ashore. He lifted Teti out. The child clung to him
and her hand at his neck broke the string of an amulet he wore. It fell at Renisenb's feet. She
picked it up. It was an Ankh sign of electrum and gold.
She gave a little regretful cry.
"It is bent. I am sorry. Be careful -" as Kameni took it from her - "it may break."
But his strong fingers, bending it still further, snapped it deliberately in two.
"Oh, what have you done?"
"Take half, Renisenb, and I will take the other. It shall be a sign between us - that we are
halves of the same whole."
He held it out to her, and just as she stretched out her hand to take it, something clicked in her
brain and she drew in her breath sharply.
"What is it, Renisenb?"
"Nofret."
"What do you mean - Nofret?"
Renisenb spoke with swift certainty.
"The broken amulet in Nofret's jewel box. It was you who gave it to her... You and Nofret... I
see everything now. Why she was so unhappy. And I know who put the jewel box in my
room. I know everything... Do not lie to me, Kameni. I tell you, I know."
Kameni made no protest. He stood looking at her steadily and his gaze did not falter. When he
spoke, his voice was grave and for once there was no smile on his face.
"I shall not lie to you, Renisenb."
He waited a moment, frowning a little as though trying to arrange his thoughts.
"In a way, Renisenb, I am glad that you do know - though it is not quite as you think."
"You gave the broken amulet to her - as you would have given it to me - as a sign that you
were halves of the same whole. Those were your words."
"You are angry, Renisenb. I am glad because that shows that you love me. But all the same, I
must make you understand. I did not give the amulet to Nofret. She gave it to me..."
He paused.
"Perhaps you do not believe me, but it is true. I swear that it is true."
Renisenb said slowly:
"I will not say that I do not believe you... That may very well be true."
Nofret's dark, unhappy face rose up before her eyes.
Kameni was going on, eagerly, boyishly...
"Try to understand, Renisenb. Nofret was very beautiful. I was flattered and pleased. Who
would not be? But I never really loved her -"
Renisenb felt an odd pang of pity. No, Kameni had not loved Nofret - but Nofret had loved
Kameni - had loved him despairingly and bitterly. It was at just this spot on the Nile bank that
she had spoken to Nofret that morning, offering her friendship and affection. She remembered
only too well the dark tide of hate and misery that had emanated from the girl then. The cause
of it was clear enough now. Poor Nofret - the concubine of a fussy, elderly man - eating her
heart out for love of a gay, careless, handsome young man who had cared little or nothing for
her.
Kameni was going on eagerly:
"Do you not understand, Renisenb, that as soon as I came here, I saw you and loved you?
That from that moment I thought of no one else? Nofret saw it plainly enough."
Yes, Renisenb thought, Nofret had seen it. Nofret had hated her from that moment - and
Renisenb did not feel inclined to blame her.
"I did not even want to write the letter to your father. I did not want to have anything to do
with Nofret's schemes any more. But it was difficult - you must try to realize that it was
difficult."
"Yes, yes." Renisenb spoke impatiently. "All that does not matter. It is only Nofret that
matters. She was very unhappy. She loved you, I think, very much."
"Well, I did not love her." Kameni spoke impatiently.
"You are cruel," said Renisenb.
"No, I am a man, that is all. If a woman chooses to make herself miserable about me, it
annoys me, that is the simple truth. I did not want Nofret. I wanted you. Oh, Renisenb, you
cannot be angry with me for that!"
In spite of herself she smiled.
"Do not let Nofret who is dead make trouble between us who are living. I love you, Renisenb,
and you love me and that is all that matters."
Yes, Renisenb thought, that is all that matters...
She looked at Kameni, who stood with his head a little on one side, a pleading expression on
his gay, confident face. He looked very young.
Renisenb thought: "He is right. Nofret is dead and we are alive. I understand her hatred of me
now - and I am sorry that she suffered - but it was not my fault. And it was not Kameni's fault
that he loved me and not her. These things happen."
Teti, who had been playing on the riverbank, came up and pulled at her mother's hand.
"Shall we go home now? Mother - shall we go home?"
Renisenb gave a deep sigh. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]